It feels like time stopped.
While my immigration papers are being processed, I cannot work. It’s like a year ago all over again, except maybe this time I dont feel like the end of the world is coming at the thought of not passing the bar. I’m not gonna exaggerate and be honest: nothing feels scarier than waiting for the bar result.
Still, more than 3 months have gone by since I’ve gone off work. Last month, the feeling of uselessness and aimlessness started creeping upon me. Everyday, I did the same things: waking up, walking Bagel, cooking, eating, surfing the internet, knitting a little, napping, walking Bagel again, cooking, eating, cleaning up, walking Bagel again, then off to bed.
It was seriously agonizing. Things are only a little better now that Marty and I started studying Spanish, and I’m spending more time by myself figuring out. Since I don’t want to waste any more time, I’m forced to sit down and define what I want from my career in the future. I can’t just “try different things and see IF I like it.” I’m also seriously considering going solo, at least until the economy gets better and I see more opportunities in transactional law. This will probably be better than just waiting on my butt until I get an interview and having to explain why I have several months of gap in my work experience.
Knitting-wise, it’s official; I have more knitting patterns than I know what to do with. I could probably knit for the next 2 years, everyday, with just the patterns I already own. That is quite overwhelming, seeing that new patterns, new and PRETTY patterns at that, come out EVERYDAY. Almost every other blogs I stumble upon are of knitting pattern designers. And what about those new magazines every month?
For a while I didn’t want to knit anything at all, feeling so useless. I put more passion into my hobbies when I know I had a productive day. I started knitting a bit more starting last month as my thought of going solo became more of a possibility than just an option. I started looking through my stash of knitting magazines and patterns, and was overwhelmed by my re-kindled passion for the designs.
That is good. Now I know I’m slowly waking up from my mental hibernation. And it’s good for both work and knitting. Christmas is coming up!