“When a person is sapped by fatigue, the last thing he or she wants to
do is exercise. But new research shows that regular, low-intensity
exercise may help boost energy levels in people suffering from fatigue.”………
Since college, it seems like I have gained about 10 pounds.
Yes, I know. That was when I was also struggling with my ED. And even though I now know that it’s silly to depend on how I look or how much I weigh for a better confidence, I felt my determination falter as I walked into a Guess shop last weekend.
I used to look at clothes, thinking: “oh, that tee is so cute.”
Last weekend, I looked at this skirt, “it’s SOOO cute but it’s not going to look good on me.”
It’s not just about the 10 pounds. I think it’s just the overall self-esteem thing again.
Recovering from an ED is a tricky thing. I am never quite sure how I should eat and exercise.
Sounds funny right? It sounds very simple. Most people eat when they’re hungry; they stop eating when they’re full. They exercise but they stop when they’re tired.
But for people struggling with or recovering from various EDs, it’s not so simple.
I got used to the hunger pain or the extreme exhaustion from exercising too much.
I never ate when I was hungry and I never felt full when I ate.
And I exercised to burn off what I ate, even if I was already tired.
During the initial recovery, professionals seem to discourage exercising. Maybe a brief, light walking, but not more than that.
I never had the luxury of having that professional help when I first decided to recover. I tried the self-help method that involved a lot of reading, writing, and talking to friends.
So although I feel a lot better now, I sometimes feel as though there’s something missing or not quite right yet.
I decided to lose weight few weeks ago. And since then, my eating pattern’s been off again. Skipping meals, then pigging out… then taking diuretic..*sigh*
My “Getting In Touch with Your Inner Bitch” calendar says, “Let’s just stop saying ‘I’ve been really bad!’ when all we’ve done is eat a little chocolate cake. It was just chocolate cake, no need to judge so harshly.”
I’m going to learn to forgive myself.
I’m not comfortable with my weight right now; I know I’m not overweight, medically speaking. But I don’t have to apologize for desiring a reasonable, ideal body shape, right?
But then I have to stop abusing myself for eating. One good thing I learned from my ED is planning my meals ahead so that I don’t overeat. I’m going to:
- Keep a food diary
- Exercise at least 20~30 minutes a day
- Stay away from diet pills
- Increase protein intake
I’m going to end this entry by quoting a comment after the article:
“It’s always amazing to me to hear people complain about
exhaustion, back pain, weight gain, even headaches and then find out
that they don’t exercise.
Exercise is the first step to take when faced with minor medical concerns. It shouldn’t even be a question.”