Hm~ I wonder.. if i’m going crazy.. or i just miss california.. or i miss him.. Probably all of the above. =P

I mean, I’m really enjoying myself here.. My house looks really good, I love the neighborhood, I love the shopping malls here, they’re so big. =) Big shopping malls = Happy Jean. Well, but I just don’t see myself having a life here. This is… This isn’t me. People here don’t smile as much. They just worsen the cynical Jean, and unhappy Jean. I dont know if I’ll be happy here. And now that I’m so used to living by myself and running my own life, I just dont like it when my days are so dependent on mom and dad’s schedules. I have to be able to plan my own day and sleep when I want to, eat when I feel like it, and study when I have to. Around my parents, I can’t do that. When I look back to high school, I think that was the reason for my lack of motivation to do well in high school.. Not being able to control my own life..

Well.. I’m talking things over with Mom and Dad. They really don’t want me to be so far away from home.. But… I guess, it depends on how you define what “home” is.


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