Hmmm.. End of the thinking period. Now the action begins.

I spent the last week just thinking and re-thinking.. I read alot, I wrote alot. I saw and felt alot of different things. Frankly, I feel alot better. Maybe I’m losing some, but I think I’ll gain more things in the end. I need this.. People who are involved.. We each want different things.. It just can’t work out all at once. It takes time and it has to happen very very very slowly. This is not the time for “just go and do it.” And I believe, this way, all of us can save ourselves from too much pain and awkwardness.

It’s 2:08 AM.. The night is dark and old.. I love this time of the day.. When the rest of the world is fast asleep. (Or, at least everywhere but Sillicon Valley) Sweet candle lights and the sound of my fingertips on the keyboard. Everything makes my life so peaceful.. It’s this peace I love about writing. Writing is like the best thing to do when I’m on a date with myself. I’m realizing more and more, writing is really a self-discovery process. I simply love learning about my own self through my writing. I discover a new side of me. No, actually. I discover how and why I act certain way, and what makes me the person I am today.

Love.. Is a tricky thing.. It makes you grow. You’re reborn the moment you realized you’re in love. I realized how much I grew since high school. Loving someone.. is like making them a part of you. And it makes you want to be a better person. and love never ends even if you try to change the label on the relationship. Lovers, friends, family.. whatever.. it doesn’t matter what the label says.. love is love. and if there’s anything that lasts forever, it is love. I think my confusion came from trying to differentiate like from love. This is what I came up with..

Like is wanting everything from the other.
Love is giving everything you have.
Like is seeing each other as much as possible in a day.
Love is feeling each other even when you’re a thousand miles away
Like is thinking you can devote yourself to the other.
Love is knowing yourself and your importance to the person you love.
Like is loving the time spent together
Love is loving every moment of life together, even the brief separation.
Like is wondering where the other is,
Love is not wondering because you know exactly what’s going on in the other’s life.

So far, this is it.. I want to think more.. I think i know.. I just need to “vocabularize” it.

I finished reading The Confession of a Shopaholic.. FINALLY. It was a nice pleasure reading. Didn’t need much thinking. A perfect choice for me right now.. I needed the time off and it did a wonderful job. Very sweet and very cute.

Hmmm.. Dinner date tomorrow.  


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